Day 3 - Life, it needs to be lived!

Someone I love needs prayers for peace and comfort. My Mom's sister was transferred to CT Hospice today. It is hard to come to terms with the fact that her life is about to end. She led a good life, had 4 healthy children, who blessed her with several grandchildren. My heart aches for her tonight. Please God, keep her comfortable and bring her peace.
My Aunt's pending passing really made me think hard today about my life. Up to this point, for approximately the last 13 or so years, I haven't been living. My excess weight has been holding me back from the life I really want. I wasn't heavy as a child, in highschool, I weighed between 124-132 pounds. (sadly, back then, I thought I was heavy) As a 5'4.5" tall woman, I looked perfectly fine in highschool. In college, I gained the freshman 15, then the sophomore 15, followed by the junior 10...then I moved back home to go to nursing school. I really put on weight then, nursing school was extremely stressful. I also was in a bad relationship. I turned to food for comfort. My weight ballooned to over 200lbs. I have been gaining since. Those 13 or so years have flown by so quickly. I am on this journey to take the reins, I want my old life back. The life I used to know, free of layers, I was living back then.
Of course I am feeling sad, which is one of my emotional triggers to eat, but I did good. Today was fine calorie wise. Honestly, I really didn't even think about going above my caloric bank. I believe it is because I allowed myself to cry. I felt the emotion, rather than fed it. I told myself that it is ok to cry, there is no need to be stoic. This is good, real good.
Life is uncertain, we truely don't know what tomorrow will bring. It is because of this, that we need to live. I need to do what it takes to get back to that version of my former self. That woman who was healthy, happy and living. I am on my way.

I am worth it!
Jill